Talking Points
Here is a chronological list of distinct topics, claims, and statements from the transcript:
1. The guest last saw the host in June of last year while promoting his special.
2. Since their last meeting, the guest had another child.
3. The guest is 48 years old and will turn 49 in November.
4. Having children prompted the guest to start training four weeks ago for health reasons, including blood work, scans, and tests, to ensure he is present for his family as long as possible.
5. The guest's Instagram algorithm frequently shows unhealthy foods like sandwiches and pizza.
6. The guest eats whole eggs, believing the yolks are the healthy part.
7. The guest is not an Olympian and does not weigh his food, describing himself as a glutton. He can maintain his physique by exercising frequently and practicing intermittent fasting, strategically timing when he overeats.
8. The guest enjoys Italian food, especially in New York, and mentions a favorite spot in Vegas called Gaitanos that serves handmade pasta with imported Italian flour.
9. The guest is touring until 2026, having taken a break for his new baby and after wrapping season 12 of his show and producing another show. He went on hiatus from his podcast.
10. The guest prefers touring with friends because traveling solo, especially with boring local openers, can be depressing.
11. On the road, the guest occupies his time with working out and playing pool.
12. The guest admitted to being weak, having no stamina, and feeling old, motivating him to start working out to reverse these issues.
13. His recent blood work revealed he is highly susceptible to soft tissue injuries, which he jokingly refers to as being a "sissy."
14. The host suggested that susceptibility to soft tissue injury could stem from years of not lifting weights.
15. The guest experienced a soft tissue injury during a training session involving throwing a medicine ball.
16. The host recommends starting workouts with moderate bodyweight exercises, avoiding pushing to failure to prevent injury, and building up slowly.
17. A well-supported biomarker for susceptibility to soft tissue injuries is a genetic variant in the elastin (ELN) gene, which indicates ligament weakness. Other serum markers like creatine kinase are less robust for predicting susceptibility compared to indicating recent injury.
18. The guest found his personal trainer who lived in the building next to him, which he described as a strange coincidence.
19. The guest trains three times a week at 6:30 AM, which is challenging due to the dark winter mornings but provides a sense of accomplishment by early afternoon.
20. The guest used to play baseball as a child but quit team sports to focus on martial arts in his early teens.
21. He disliked team sports due to his stubborn nature and preference for individual accountability, where his success or failure was solely his own.
22. Decisions in individual combat sports can be corrupted by biased judges, especially when fighting in someone's hometown.
23. Roy Jones Jr. famously lost an Olympic boxing final in Korea against the Korean national champion despite a flawless performance, a decision later acknowledged as unfair by his opponent, who returned the gold medal years later.
24. Corrupt judging in the UFC is infuriating for athletes, as it can cost them a significant win bonus (e.g., $15,000 for a 15k/15k contract) which is crucial for covering their extensive training expenses.
25. Fighters are often advised not to leave outcomes to the judges, but sometimes knocking out an opponent is not feasible or strategically smart.
26. The guest recounted his experience playing JV basketball in 7th grade, where he was the last one cut from varsity and the first one on the JV team, coached by his friend's mom, a bakery owner.
27. His team was terrible, losing their first game 44-0 to a team of much taller, older-looking Dominican kids whose parents chanted "44 zip."
28. The guest was named MVP of his JV team for scoring 16 points over 14 games in an 0-4 season and still has the trophy.
29. The host suggests that aggressive parental encouragement in youth sports is sometimes driven by the hope that a child's athletic talent could lead to wealth, especially for lower-income families.
30. The guest sees his basketball MVP trophy story as a good setup for a comedian, teaching humility about physical prowess.
31. The guest had a sudden desire to learn how to sail, and a few days later, met a dad at his daughter's music class who happened to teach sailing. He wonders if he can manifest things in his life.
32. The host discusses the belief that consciousness interacts with the universe, influencing events, and how "The Secret" movie oversimplified manifestation to simply wishing things into existence.
33. Manifestation is seen as one part of a multi-faceted approach to achieving goals, alongside practical actions like healthy eating, exercise, and good sleep for physical health.
34. The host emphasizes the importance of carefully choosing social circles, as one absorbs the energy of those they spend time with.
35. The host's parents lived on a sailboat for two years, learning to sail and living in places like the Bahamas after his career took off, choosing it over conventional work.
36. Living on the ocean provides a sense of centering, similar to being in nature, but the ocean transforms from beautiful in the day to a terrifying, uncontrollable "black monster" at night.
37. A video shows a man and his dog almost swept away by a tsunami wave that crested a high cliff, highlighting the ocean's immense power.
38. The guest recounted a scuba diving experience in the Cayman Islands where initial descent was difficult due to claustrophobia and the unnatural feeling of weights pulling him down.
39. He panicked when the instructor swam too far ahead, leaving him disoriented and alone underwater, leading to heavy breathing.
40. The guest self-diagnoses as claustrophobic, stemming from panic attacks in confined spaces like MRIs, tight airplane seats, and a stretcher after a car accident.
41. The host speculates that some phobias, like fear of snakes or spiders, could be genetic memories passed down through evolution.
42. Clowns are inherently scary because their painted faces obscure true emotions, making it difficult to assess their intentions, contrasting with normal human interaction.
43. The host believes that forcing children to wear masks during the pandemic was detrimental to their development as it deprived them of essential facial expression learning from teachers and peers.
44. The guest recalled a trend around 2016 of clowns terrorizing towns, like the "Staten Island clown."
45. The discussion shifted to the mysterious identity of Banksy, with the host joking about a (false) article claiming Christian Bale was Banksy.
46. The host praised Banksy's ability to maintain anonymity despite widespread fame, calling it remarkable.
47. The guest mentioned the documentary "Exit Through the Gift Shop," which follows other street artists but doesn't reveal Banksy's identity.
48. The guest described attending a brunch in England hosted by a descendant of Sigmund Freud, where Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson were playing ping pong, and the house contained valuable art including Banksies and a Picasso.
49. The host introduced the theory that modern art, particularly abstract expressionism like Jackson Pollock's work, was a CIA psychological operation (SCOP) during the Cold War.
50. This theory suggests the CIA promoted "nonsense art" to contrast with and culturally undermine the classical realism of Soviet art, showcasing American intellectual freedom.
51. Howard Stern once demonstrated this by creating a painting indistinguishable from a Pollock, highlighting the subjective nature of such art's value.
52. The guest recently read an article about how the value of certain contemporary art, heavily promoted by galleries, has significantly declined, independent of the general economy, due to shifting trends within the art world.
53. The guest visited the Peggy Guggenheim Collection in Venice, expressing awe at the priceless art amassed by one wealthy individual.
54. The host collects pool cues and cars, and views his studio as a showcase for art, distinguishing it from his home decor.
55. The host displays large, spectacular Native American art pieces by his friend Greg Overton, finding them powerful and representative of real people from 200 years ago.
56. The guest also collects art, mentioning an Australian artist named Jordi Kerwick, known for his evolving style from still life to "funky cool lizard" sculptures.
57. The host stated he is proficient with a bow and arrow for bow hunting, which requires extensive practice.
58. Traditional recurve bows are significantly harder to be accurate with than modern compound bows, which are highly accurate and fast (arrows can travel over 230 mph).
59. Archery serves as a form of meditation for the host, requiring intense focus that clears his mind of everyday distractions.
60. The host recalled a video of former baseball pitcher Randy Johnson hitting a bird with a fastball, causing it to explode in mid-air.
61. The host believes left-handed people often learn things better and achieve exceptional skill due to adapting to a right-handed world, citing examples like John Moira, a professional pool player who became world-class playing left-handed after a shoulder injury.
62. The guest used to draw comic books as a child, mostly self-taught, influenced by his artistic uncles, one of whom did album covers for Kiss, allowing the guest to meet Ace Frehley without makeup.
63. The guest's third-grade teacher's brother was Tony Pero, the drummer for Twisted Sister, and he would often see Pero in full glam rock attire at his teacher's house when he was a child.
64. The guest bought a Van Halen replica guitar and amplifier with his confirmation money but never learned to play it.
65. The guest, as an opening act for Imagine Dragons at Jones Beach (15,000 people), had to perform five improvised songs with his guitar without singing or playing skills.
66. During his performance, he was booed and cursed, unaware that Imagine Dragons are Mormon and don't curse, and a union stage manager tried to remove him due to curfew.
67. He physically resisted the stage manager, thinking he was a saboteur, which caused Imagine Dragons to go over curfew and incur significant financial penalties.
68. He ended his performance with a stage dive into an unenthusiastic crowd and was hit by a soda.
69. The guest also recalled a stunt where he and a friend acted as goalies for the New Jersey Devils during an intermission, facing actual slapshots, which a Sports Illustrated reporter mistakenly tweeted about as a dangerous civilian promotion.
70. Historically, hockey goalies played without helmets, leading to many facial injuries.
71. Hockey is notable for still allowing fighting in the sport.
72. As a child, the guest played roller hockey daily and roller-skated everywhere, developing significant fitness.
73. The host compares neglecting one's body to being a "slumlord" of a house, as continuous maintenance is required to prevent it from falling into disrepair.
74. Momentum and consistency, rather than extreme intensity, are the most important factors for maintaining a workout routine.
75. Shane Gillis has significantly increased his muscle mass and has been working out regularly with Joe's friend, Shawn.
76. Nicholas Cage is playing Al Davis in a John Madden movie, and Christian Bale is also in the cast.
77. The guest recounts an unfinished ghost story: while living alone, he locked his bedroom door, slept with his TV muted and CPAP machine, and wrapped himself in his blankets like a "burrito" with one hand exposed.
78. He heard walking sounds, then felt his exposed hand being squeezed with increasing pressure, which began to hurt.
79. Believing he was fully awake, he considered fighting an intruder but then questioned why an intruder would only squeeze his hand. The pressure suddenly released, and when he jumped up, no one was there and the door was still locked.
80. The host suggested the ghost experience could have been sleep paralysis or an alien encounter, referencing Shane Gillis's similar experience with a "sleep paralysis demon."
81. The host joked that aliens could bypass locked doors and walls and might have squeezed the guest's hand because they liked his sense of humor and wanted him to contribute positively to human culture.
82. The Comedy Store is widely believed to be haunted due to its past as Ciro's nightclub, where Bugsy Siegel's mob conducted beatings, torture, and killings, and illegal abortions.
83. Staff and comedians at the Comedy Store have reported seeing ghosts (a man in a World War II bomber jacket, a black phantom, a man in 1940s garb walking through walls) and experiencing strange occurrences (wailing, chairs stacking themselves, tables becoming unset).
84. Comedian Carl LaBove claimed to have been physically dragged off the Comedy Store stage by an unseen entity while sleeping there.
85. Only a few US states (Alaska, California, South Dakota) legally require the disclosure of deaths in a property within a specific timeline (e.g., California: 3 years, South Dakota/Alaska: 12 months).
86. The guest, feeling vulnerable when his wife was away, Amazon Primed a machete for home defense but then worried about the practicalities and legal implications of using it (e.g., having to move after a machete fight).
87. The urban legend that undercover police officers must disclose their identity if asked is false.
88. The guest recently learned the term "psychological operation" (SCOP) in the context of unexplained drone sightings.
89. The guest became anxious and started buying survival supplies after observing numerous drones outside his window for weeks, which Trump later vaguely claimed were "ours."
90. The host speculates the drones could be US military exercises designed to test responses and evasion techniques, or a display of technological superiority by countries like China.
91. China is significantly more advanced in drone technology, creating elaborate synchronized drone shows, due to fewer regulations stifling innovation compared to the US.
92. The host believes artificial general superintelligence will be achieved by 2045-2050, potentially leading to a new type of life form.
93. The guest uses a paid version of ChatGPT, which he named "Stankass," and instructed it to address him as "Big Pimpin" and speak in '90s hip-hop vernacular.
94. The host predicts that people will form relationships with AI companions, leading to AI girlfriends and robots in homes that report to the government.
95. The host mentioned a video of a machete fight where one man's hand was severed, and he calmly picked it up and walked away.
96. George Washington died from a common cold that was severely exacerbated by extensive bloodletting (32 ounces extracted in one session) and other harmful medical treatments of the era, such as applying leeches, enemas, drugs to induce vomiting, and Spanish fly to create blisters.
97. The host suggests George Washington likely suffered from undiagnosed PTSD from his experiences in the Revolutionary War.
98. George Washington had creepy-looking dentures made from a combination of slaves' and horses' teeth set in a lead mold.
99. Life in the past was considerably more barbaric, with frequent violence, common sight of people with missing limbs, and high rates of death from infections due to poor medical knowledge.
100. The guest got a photorealistic tattoo of Jaden Smith (aged 15) on his thigh as part of a stunt for his show.
101. He later met Jaden Smith (dressed as Batman at Comic-Con) and showed him the tattoo, which led to Jaden posing for a second, updated tattoo on his other thigh for another show segment.
102. The guest's show has been on for 12 seasons since 2011, with over 300 episodes and a large fan base.
103. The guest announced his upcoming comedy tour dates in major venues like the Chicago Theater, The Beacon, and The Ryman.